Did you know that you have total and complete control over your entire experience of life?
Yes! That overwhelming, lovely, BIG, confusing, wonderful, crazy life that feels out of control some days and downright fantastic other days – you choose it all!
You attract to YOU exactly what you expect to happen. That can be a pretty tough pill to swallow if you are not in love with your current reality but it is worth believing because…
If you have the power to call it in, YOU have the power to send it away!
And that power is harnessed by choice.
You must set an intention for EVERYTHING you want in your life. You must know that you deserve it and you must request it.
This is crazy stuff I know but believe me I’ve been practicing this for some time and it is the only truth. You get to decide. Always. Without Exception.
Try that on for size. What would you change about your own experience if you knew you had the power to change it?
Intend it to be so.
Set an intention today.
I INTEND TO BE HAPPY.
I INTEND TO FEEL COMPLETELY AT PEACE WITH MY CHILDREN.
I INTEND TO EXPERIENCE LOVE IN A WAY THAT LIFTS ME TO A HIGHER PLACE.
I INTEND TO ALLOW WEALTH TO FLOW TO ME IN ABUNDANCE.
I INTEND TO BE HAPPY.
Intentions are far more powerful when written and spoken with belief. If you are ready to shout your intention from the rooftop because you are sooooo in love with it, then write it down here.
Oh Patty! You were so right! I didn’t understand before. It’s like it wants me to succeed. It says ‘You can DO it!”
“It” was my friend Dina’s first iPhone. After listening to me wax poetic about the merits of Apple products for about a year, she finally took the plunge. What she experienced was something so many of us experience when we use our first Apple product.
It’s the feeling that we are being supported by technology, rather than challenged. It’s the sense that we have some inanimate partner in the game of entrepreneurship.
And that was a direct result of Steve Jobs vision and leadership. He whispered “You CAN do it” into everything created under his leadership. He insisted the user experience be paramount in each product that proudly donned the little “i.”
Last night we said goodbye to Steve Jobs.
I miss him. I am grieving.
I struggled to explain it until a good friend and one of my favorite bloggers, Laurie Foley, named it for me:
But losing Steve Jobs feels personal. We have an intimacy with the products that we identify with him. We love the products so we feel connected with the face of the company that created them.
A few years ago, I was starting out as an entrepreneur. I was filled with excitement, eagerness and scared to death. I had no idea how I’d get my website up, get audios produced and a host of other technicalities that came with running this business.
All of that became easy because of my MacBook, iPhone and now iPad. I was supported and felt understood simply by the existence of these products.
Isolation is one of the biggest challenges for entrepreneurs and these products made me feel less alone. Steve Jobs made me feel less alone.
My four year old, Little K, wants to be just like her big bro. He knows how to write so naturally she decided she needed to learn to write. We took out a workbook so she could get started.
I opened the workbook to “K” because it is the first letter of her name and, as such, gets her the most excited.
She looked at the workbook, up at me, back at the workbook and finally put the pencil down. “K is too hard, Mommy.”
“No big deal, Little K. Just trace the first line of the “K” and we’ll put the book away.” I said.
“Okay, Mommy!”
Little K quickly drew the best straight line she’s ever written. And without thinking twice she finished the K.
Once the first step was taken the goal stopped being overwhelming.
Being able to write her name is a dream Little K holds close to her heart the way you and I have big dreams we hold close to our hearts.
And what has the potential to keep little K from writing her name is the same thing that separates us from our big dreams. The first step looked too hard. The first step was overwhelming.
Is there something you’d like to accomplish in your life or business but you just can’t seem to get to it? Do you have a dream or goal that just lights you up when you think about it but when it comes time to making it happen, it just never happens?
If so, you are probably feeling like Little K. You may not even realize it. If the end goal feels good but the first step overwhelms you, that simply means the first step is too big. It is time to break it down into an even smaller group of steps.
You’ll know you’ve reached the right size baby step when taking it feels simple, a “no brainer”, easy peasy (you get my point).
Do you have a dream you’re ready to make happen? Pull it out. Dust it off and baby step the heck out of it.
And if you’ve had some success with this process already, please leave a comment below! I love success stories and success feeds success! Here’s to yours!
My friend Dina and her family are moving out west to Colorado. I cherish my friendship with Dina. Dina brings out the best in me. Yet as much as I care about her and will miss spending time with her, I don’t feel the pangs of grief or sadness that usually accompany a goodbye.
It feels very strange to know that a friend I love so much is leaving yet I am not able or willing to acknowledge it.
Am I in denial? I thought once or twice over these last few weeks but that just didn’t feel true.
So today when I met Dina for our last good-bye, I expected I might be greeted by some unexpected emotions. But again…nothing. I felt joy and excitement for this adventure Dina is about to undertake with her family, but no grief.
We walked and talked for two hours about everything and nothing. It was very…normal. Normal, that is, if it was a regular day and not the day I was saying good-bye to my dear friend.
When we got back to our cars I told Dina that although it didn’t make sense, I didn’t feel like I needed to say good-bye.
She told me she was surprised that she felt the same thing. She explained that she has been writing letters all week to people to tell them good-bye or share what they mean to her. Yet, for me, whom she cares so much about, she just didn’t feel compelled to write such a letter.
It felt “right” that we were on the same page with this but as I pulled away, I couldn’t shake the thought that this was very much not normal. And then I realized why…
My higher self knows something I don’t. If you’ve read this blog long enough or worked with me, you know I am a big proponent of honoring the fact that your higher self has access to information about your future that you just can’t access in the purely human form.
The “you” who is reading this can see ten feet in front of you. The higher YOU sees far, far down your path.
Your higher YOU sends you signals all day long, directing you based on what YOU see up ahead. Your higher YOU sends you direction or “speaks” to you through your body’s responses to situations and your emotions.
That is why it is so important to listen when your body and emotions are speaking to you. They are the voice of your Higher YOU.
My higher ME knows something about my relationship with Dina that I don’t. Somehow this distance between Connecticut and Colorado is not going to exist for us. Dina has joined me as an expert as Mom Gets A Life so I know we are going to be working together for some time but there is something else there.
There is something waiting for Dina and I that makes Dina’s move a non-issue in our lives. And it is not simply that we’ll talk often. I have had other friends move away and remained close but my heart still broke a little when they were leaving.
This is different. I may not be clear how that is all going to work out but my higher ME does. I’m a little jealous of that higher ME’s vision right now. I’d love to get a peek at what “I” am seeing. Since I can’t, I’m going to hang out a little in the excitement of knowing that there is a surprise waiting for me up ahead. Ooooo I know its going to be good!
How about you? What secrets is your Higher YOU keeping from you right now? Aren’t you excited to find out?
This morning my 5 year old asked “What is Memorial Day?”
I have decided that being in the flow of my life is being honest with my children even when I feel the answer is hard to say or to hear. This isn’t always easy. Sometimes my understanding of the truth includes information I find emotionally or spiritually challenging. This was one of those times.
I asked my son if he remembered when we talked about war.
War?
Hmmmm…nope.
OK that was a painful conversation the first time – do I really need to have it again?
I’ve decided to take emotional refuge in the fact he does not remember the conversation or what war is. I hope it fell so far from what he knows to be true that it had no place to land in his little body and so he rejected it.
At least that is what I am telling myself.
I gave him the cliff notes version of war- two countries fight with each other. And sometimes when they fight, people on both sides die. And on Memorial Day we remember the men and women that died for us, or at least the ones that were on our team.
“You mean people die when they fight?” he asked wide-eyed.
My eyes had already welled up when I started to say that people die – this question really did me in.
“Yes little M, they sometimes die.”
“Even the good guys?” (Yes, even the good guys.)
“Who are the good guys?”
Yikes – getting into difficult territory. Retreat, RETREAT! I tell myself. Luckily little M has lost any interest in the topic but I’m still reeling. I don’t understand war on so many levels and yet I do. I am in a mini-mental war with a neighbor and can’t seem to let it go.
I know I’m right and am just waiting for the day to prove it to that annoying neighbor! (I know she thinks she is right to – hence the war.)
Why do we as humans do this? I know finding my way out of the battle for rightness is a big piece of getting in the flow of my life but I must admit it is a tantalizing battle.
As I write this I am reminded of a lesson I have learned from many spiritual teachers over the years. If I want to end war, I must start with myself. If I want my children to grow up in a world where we talk about war in the past tense – that change needs to start with me.
So in honor of Memorial Day, in respect of all those men and women who laid down their lives with – I believe – so many positive intentions of peace and freedom, I am ending my own war. I should understand why I am fighting my mini-war better than I understand the bigger wars on earth and I don’t, so I am choosing to end it.
It is the one meaningful thing I can do for my little M today.
It is the one meaningful thing I can do for you and for me.
I’m often asked why the clients I work with are so successful at achieving their goals. Do I have some secret formula? Well, I do have a formula but it is not so secret.
How does a client go from sitting on a $1,000,000 property for a year in the “worst real estate market ever” to having two cash offers in a single week?
How does a person go from being ready to quit her job because she is treated so badly to being sought out by her boss and co-workers on how to make things “right” in the office almost overnight?
How does someone who is struggling financially find that her wish has been granted and her daughter’s college education costs are covered completely?
The answer is simple. Each one of these very real clients finally said “Enough.” Enough of the bullsh*t! Enough of the limiting beliefs! Enough of playing small!
It really is that simple. I may be particularly talented at leading people to their “enough” moment but it is that one word that holds all the magic. If you can get there, the road ahead of you holds nothing but beautiful, magical, fantastical freedom.
But be warned! – Once you have your “enough” moment, you have conjured a full team of fairies, angels and pixie dust to guide you on your way. Get ready to fall in love with the reality of your own magic!
I just finished watching the final episode of Scrubs. The main character, J.D., was preparing to leave the hospital he’s been working at for 8 years and he was desperate for a grand gesture by his co-workers that would confirm he’d be missed.
He wanted to be told so badly he matters.
Sound familiar? Who doesn’t want to know they matter?
He carries this craving right up until the end when he has a breakthrough (timed beautifully for the final five minutes of the episode).
As he exits the hospital, he “sees” the images of all the patients and workers he affected throughout his time at the hospital. They are all lined showing him the full impact of his presence at the hospital.
And he is happy. Finally happy.
Oh, it’s enough to make a girl cry. In fact it does.
I see it all the time. Clients who just can’t get happy. Who can’t go after that next big thing because they can’t even dream up what the next big thing could be. And underneath all that stuck is the same deep dark need J.D. clung to, the need to know “I matter.”
But just like J.D., we are rarely offered the grand gestures that confirm we matter. That “seeing,” that knowing, must come from inside. It requires taking in all the little gestures and adding them up to create our own “I matter montage.” Because something really magical happens once we do.
It happened to JD…
As he walks to the door with all this new “I matter” awareness, he starts to see his future. His big, bright beautiful future played out before him like a movie.
Yup, it’s enough to make a girl cry.
And by the way, it’s not just a storyline. The moment a client stops waiting for someone else to tell her she matters and sees it for herself, it is tear-making beautiful.
Once you stop looking back its really hard not to see how freakin’ great the future can be!
And for your viewing pleasure: The J.D. future montage:
Oh yeah – did you catch that ending? The grand gesture was there all along. J.D. just missed it.
The manner in which you describe your life to yourself and others impacts how you feel and what happens next.
What you choose to notice in your life and what gets top billing when you speak about your life advises the Universe what you care about.
For instance…
I’m sitting on my porch as I write this. The sun is shining. I’m loving that the grass is deep green from all the rain we’ve had lately and the birds are singing. I’m typing on my MacBook and love the flexibility this little gal gives me! I feel completely free! The kids are going to be excited to finally spend some quality time at the park after school today!
I could also tell you
I’m trying to get some work done on my computer but the fire engines that are so close by keep distracting me. And now that I look at my planters I see they really need some work – ughhh – one more thing to do! Kids will be home in a few hours and goodbye freedom. How in the world am I possible going to meet all my deadlines today?
Both these versions are technically true.
The first one felt great to tell. The second made my body tighten. The first story puts me in a place where I take action from a place of freedom and personal power. The second story sets me up to stressed and anxious – Yuck!
Those emotions and the actions that follow those emotions also send a signal to the Universe to send me more people, places and things that will continue to make me feel that way.
See how important storytelling is!
Why?
Our stories are the only way we have of controlling our outer reality. We can’t control what goes on around us but we can control what we choose to focus on. That focus is the key to getting in the flow. Just keep looking at all the right that is going on and more right will flow your way.
Don’t believe me? Try it out! Take a pitiful story you’ve been hanging onto and transform it. Make it the most glorious fairytale known to woman and go shout it from the rooftops. See what changes!
I’m on vacation this week so I’m just going to share a video with you that always lifts my spirits when I’m down. Now, before you watch it let me warn you that countless individuals have mocked this video mercilessly but I love it just the same.
It is the JK Wedding Entrance Dance video.
Now before you sigh or groan let me tell you why this video makes me happy:
Watching so many friends show up 150% for two people they care about makes my heart sing. Most of the wedding party looks like they are having a great time but c’mon you know at least one or two of them had to muster some serious courage to make this entrance a reality. And why? Because they love their friends (at least that is what I decided the reason is : )
What would the world be like if every couple that decided to spend their life together started out with this kind of support and love? Just thinking about that makes me happy, happy, happy!
Look at the smile on that brides face! How could that smile not make someone feel happy? (Well my husband for one. He groans when he hears the music start but I know that secretly he loves me more for the tears that start streaming down my face every time I watch it.)
There are days that just plain suck. I am not going to put any silver lining on it because that would be disingenuous. I can go through an entire day sulky and snappy. My children are big fans of Spongebob* so they love to call me “Krabby Patty” in these moments (and roll with laughter while they do it.)
Do I throw back my head and laugh at the foolishness of my angst? Heck to the no! Do I look like a saint? What I do is take away Spongebob for a week. This is how I roll sometimes. I am flawed and what is the word I’m looking for?…. Oh yeah, I’m human.
I live my life conscious of the fact that my thoughts create my reality. My vibration dictates what I attract. Even knowing this at my core does not entice me to turn every day around. And you know what?
Life is just fine! Every day does not need to be perfect. Every thought and action does not need to exude positive vibrations for you to have a great life. However, it does require a big helping of ownership.
When my kids are a bit on the sour side the days following my Krabby Patty days, I own it. What I put out comes back..in spades.
Once my mood starts improving and things are still going wrong, that is where I insert a head roll and laugh at my own frivolity. I’m just seeing a giant reflection of my time as Krabby Patty. I’m no victim! I own my stuff!
Having a great life – a happy life – does not require you are happy all the time. However, it does require you love all over the gunk that comes your way after a crabby day because it is just one more reminder of how incredibly powerful you are!
*Yes I do let my 3 & 5 year old children watch Spongebob. It affords me a peaceful half hour and I’m not applying for “Mother of the Year” so it works out just perfectly. You can hear more about my take on motherhood here: www.momgetsalife.com.
